To My Children: I am sorry. And I love you.

To the wonderful human beings I call my children,

I am sorry. And I love you.

I am sorry that the world has reached such a state of disarray that the beautiful life you once led is no longer a safe option for you or any other child on this planet.

I am sorry that in the middle of a worldwide pandemic race relations have become more tense and violent, the housing market unstable, the economy in crisis, that any sense or semblance of safety has been stripped from our every day lives, and I am even more sorry that it has compromised my ability to be a present parent for you in this time.

I am sorry that going to school is not an option and yet that I am not a teacher.

I am sorry that the things we used to do to make memories are no longer viable.

I am sorry that the political overlords that rule this land that we live on do not care about our lives or anyone else except their own.

I am sorry that money trumps human life experience.

I am sorry that I am not able to be everything you need in these times where we are not able to meet our needs beyond the parameters of our household.

I am sorry that these extenuating circumstances have depleted my resources to mother you.

I am sorry that I cannot guarantee what your future will look like.

I am sorry that you cannot run into the arms of our family members and seek the refuge that you so desperately need.

I am sorry that while I once believed I could offer you the world but I can no longer come through with those intentions.

I am so sorry.

And I love you.

I love you and it is why I am actively trying to make the world a better place.

I love you and every day I am consciously reevaluating how to be a better mother to you.

I love you and that is why I take my role of keeping you safe so seriously.

I love you and I am excited to see the ways your grow and change in these unprecedented conditions.

I love you and see your beauty, strength and resolve.

I love you and your love of the world reignites my passions every day.

I love you and I thank you for always forgiving me and giving me the chance to try again.

I love you and I look forward to the day in which we will do this work together.

I love you and I will try to listen harder to your wants and needs and see clearer the person that you truly are.

I love you and trust in your destiny.

I love you and know that this time we have together is sacred and not to be wasted.

I love you and you have taught me to love in a whole new way. You have expended my life into something I never woud have imagined and for that I thank you.

I love you and you each take up a different and unique space in my heart, that is yours and your alone.

I. Love. You.

Forever yours,

Mamabaloo



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