I am currently at Kripalu the largest Yoga retreat center in North America which also happens to have a world renowned Yoga school. I came here for my 200hr Yoga Teacher Training and I am now taking the leap to start my 300hr training. That is a whole story in itself and is for another time. That is more business stuff, not my life stuff and if you want to read those blogs you can go to http://www.mindfultradition.com.
So I am sitting in the dining hall this morning and they are serving there world renowned ginger scones. These scones are so damn good that I tracked down the recipe and make them at home. They are so good my kids ask me to make them, most notably my daughter for her tea party themed birthday party. I of course took a scone (or two) to go with my breakfast of fresh fruit, an egg scramble with veggies and cheese, home fries, and coffee. Everything was superb as it always is here, but something remarkable happened when I bit into the first scone.
I had this euphoric experience of coming home. I have been here for a little less than 48 hours but it was in that mouth full of food that I fully landed and arrived here. The texture, the flavor, the way it crumbled on my plate was all divine.
I sat there completely blissed out looking out the windows at the mountains surrounding me and the lake below me and I began to think about the idea of home. Here at Kripalu it is about the food. The people I am with here are always changing, and where I sleep is always changing but the food is the thread of consistency and reliability for me here.
And as thoughts often do they began to wander.
I began to think about Vermont and what it is I miss there. What is the home I long for there. Sure the food in VT in award winning and the people are open minded and welcoming, but what calls to me in the night and pulls on my heart strings is the land.
I enjoyed all the houses we lived in there (5 in ten years) but the consistent and reliable things for me at that point in my life was the land. I was constantly out and exploring the 200 acres we called home. I knew what it means when the winds shifted directions at different seasons. I knew what plants would grow where in the Spring. I knew where to forage medicinal and edible plants. I was intimately aware of the stars and planets, befriending the milky way and naming stars. We knew where the natural playgrounds in the woods were and where to swim in the summertime. I even knew what water to paddle based off water flow and the time of year.
I began to think about where I live now. And for the first time in my life my home is my house and the people in it. Maybe it is because we own a home for the first time ever. Maybe it is because through experiencing a great loss as a family we grew closer together. But whatever the reason what I so look forward to returning to in 6 days is my beautiful almost finished home, and my large and loud family. That feel exceptionally precious in this moment.
I miss our kitchen with the tin ceiling that everyone comments on when they walk in, I miss the big table my husband built for me when we found out we were pregnant with our third child, I miss the sanctuary of my bedroom, I miss the soaking tub, I miss our wonky gardens and land that I am constantly working on, I miss looking out the window while I do dishes watching the kids play.
And I miss my people who are now intrinsically linked to my sense of home. I miss Etta’s made up songs and sassy hand to hip action, I miss Amelie’s snuggles and art work, I miss Aldens constant need to know more about wildlife and making of things, I miss Patricks strong arms, supportive words, and delicious food.
Sure I don’t miss the days to day chaos, of drop offs, pick ups, making food, cleaning, working, homeschooling, navigating social schedules and so on. But in the beauty of space and time I can romanticize things a bit.
It is with the knowledge of all of these things that I can begin to plan for the future. If our home now if not our forever home, which is the plan, than what is it that we want to cultivate next? I can tell you for sure it will be a place with good food, lots of land, a beautiful home, and my large and wonderful family.
p.s. I didn’t mention the pets but they are pretty rad and I miss them to.Let’s make sure the future has them in it also 🙂