I was visiting with a friend the other day who happened to mention how much she liked my last blog post. I sheepishly commented on the fact that while I had titled the post I never once even reference those exact words in the post itself, and then gave a litinany of excuses as to why my editing skills are so poor. She articulated that I had made the point effectively without having to use the title words in the post itself, and told me that I should share more about the process of how I write these blog posts. So I will now do just that. I will elaborate more about what it is to be a full-time working mother with three children living on a farm, and a blogger, because it ain’t no small thing.
First of all multitasking is one thing, multitasking with small children is a completely different game. I worked full-time and went to school full-time and maintained an honor roll status whilst in college. This meant that if I was waiting for food to come up on the line at work I also had index cards in my pocket and I was studying information for that weeks test. It also meant that while sitting at a red light coming back from school I was also getting dressed into my work uniform while in the driver seat of my car. I had to very efficiently organize my time in such a way that I could be successful in all of my early 20s endeavors. Then I became a mother, and shit got real. Suddenly I am breast-feeding an infant, while making myself a sandwich, and conferencing in to a phone meeting with case managers.
Then you add a second kid and a third kid and I can’t really say that there’s a formula, or a rhyme and reason, that would explain why what I do works. Perhaps it is just dumb luck, or my long standing diagnoses of hyperactivity is finally paying off.
Because this is what things look like most days. As I explained akwardly to my friend about my snafu in editing of my previous blog, I don’t really know what I’m doing or have time to do this. Remembering jars was written after I had put purple hair dye in my hair and was timing it, a facemask on to be done at the same time as my hair, and did voice to text while removing nail polish from my toes. Because personal care matters, as does having your your voice heard out in the world. And this text right here right now is a voice to text whilst pushing a stroller for my youngest who has an ear infection and won’t stop screaming.
As far as editing goes remembering jars was edited while I sat on the toilet, and this one will probably be edited while I sit outside of my babies bedroom praying to the gods that she falls asleep soon.
The fact of the matter is if you have children there isn’t time for anything. There’s not going to be a right time to go back to school, or to go back to work, or to plan a big move, or to go on vacation, or to have another kid, or anything, you just have to make life happen. I could sit around and resent the fact that I don’t have time for myself the way would wish for myself or I can figure out what my bare minimum needs are to feel bauutiful, to feel myself, to feel that I have a purpose and mission beyond potty training and being a snack bitch. It is a full on balance of being in the present moment and appreciating my children’s needs, while calling the health insurance company and taking a shit at the same time. Because it’s important to me that when I’m with my kids I am actually with my kids. I spent a long time resenting my time at home with them, and I’ve learned to slow down to really take stock and gratitude for these moments and then bust ass in the five minutes a day that I have to myself.
So take stock of the things that matter and make them happen. More importantly don’t be apologetic about not doing it perfect. The fact that you are getting it done amidst the chaos of day to day life is amazing. Don’t diminish that by making excuses for yourself. You are a glorious being, own it.