So here’s the deal, I wouldn’t exactly call myself a kid person. I know that kind of makes me a monster and I’m OK with that. I like my kids. I like most of my friends kids. You know if I like your kids because I will invite them over, teach them things, have long hard talks and most importantly make them feel welcome.
Once upon a time the idea of pregnancy and babies was utterly foul to me. I vowed to never have children of my own, and generally avoided my friend’s babies until they were an age where they could reasonably walk and talk on their own, and amuse me to some degree.
And then I had children of my own. When I was pregnant it felt like children were staring at me, like in a really creepy way. I found it disconcerting that these small peoples that I had avoided so much of my life were all of a sudden very aware of me. It was most likely subconscious, but I like to believe that they were trying to make me aware of how greatly my attention would be shifting from there on out.
And now I can not get enough of babies. Because I want to act like I’m super cool and pretend that I’m not all that into babies I would not overtly address a stranger with a baby in public. It’s kind of like back in the day I would frequent a record store for all my alternative and hip musical needs but was ashamed of my love for pop music so would buy my Pink cd’s online.
So if you’re holding a baby and your back is turned to me I am absofreakinlutely waving at your baby, making a silly face, or high-fiving that baby behind your back. And if I know you and you had a baby I’m so gonna get in on that fresh baby smell. I am gonna huff up that baby scent and get me some baby high.It’s like your baby is my baby and all of those endorphins are kicking in and I am feeling real good about your a baby and my life in general. It’s totally nuts and irrational but I just can’t help myself anymore.
The pure bliss could also be from knowing that I am not having anymore babies. Me and my husband have taken surgically preventative measures to ensure that our family of five does not become a family of six. That being said our last child was a contraceptive baby, so we would be those people that have another pregnancy after a vasectomy. We will never again have to figure out nursing with a new baby, we will never again cosleep, we will never again harvest vegetables fresh in season make homemade baby food and then freeze it in ice cube tray so that they are the right portion. This list can obviously go on and on but we are past the baby stage in our life. So this unadulterated love for other people’s babies is a double win. You get that endorphin rush that comes from holding a wee little thing AND it’s not my kid.
To sum up I am not a total creeper I just want to sniff your baby. And goodnight.